Under the Influence of Sex

Do you ever wonder why you make the decisions that you make after having a nearly epic sexual love affair? I say that these decisions were made because you were under the influence of sex.

Decisions under the influence of sex you may be asking me.... Not sure that you have experienced one of more of these situations? Allow me to paint you a verbal picture of some of the ENDLESS situations that you may find yourself buried in after being under the influence of sex.

OMG WHO IS LAYING IN MY BED

Yuuup.... This would find classification beneath "Under the Influence of Sex". You wake from what you remember, an exciting, eventful, enchanting evening out. You danced to "Teach Me How to Dougie" like you were fucking Dougie himself, you drank enough Grey Goose that you were certain that you laid golden fuckin eggs. You laughed so hard the entire night that you were worried that your anti aging cream wasn't going to prevent the smile line crevices from forming. You wipe away the sleepies from your eyes, strrrrrrrrrrrretch your body long and hard while yawning. Release a deep sigh. And then as if you were being mocked, your sheets begin to move, there is a stretch next to you and a yawn. Okay, now a slight amount of panic has began to consume you.... And you hear "Good morning beautiful" There is a moment where your heart skips a beat and you think "FUCK ME, I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER HIS NAME" This poor decision making, wasn't because you were drunk and couldn't help yourself. You had the hottest man rubbing on your body as if he was a professional lotion applier and your mind began running with sex filled images, you thought it was because you were under the influence of alcohol???? DUMB ASS, you were definitely under the influence.... OF SEX!

I LOVE YOU

You've been dating for a while, really into him? Not quite sure if you really love him though right? I mean we have all been there, don't feel judged, it's just and observation. One night you are snuggled up... cakin. One thing leads to another and all the sudden you're Jane and he is Tarzan, sex is outrageous..... He's picking you up and spinning you around like you are 17 yrs old and on the cheer team again. Whispering sweet.... nasty.... X rated nothings to each other and then.... "I love you" slips out of your lips like "Fuck you dirty hoe bag" flies out of an individual with turrets at church. I'm sorry this has happened. You weren't ready. But you were under the influence of sex.... It's gets the best of us sometimes.

E.P.T

Clean Sheets - CHECK
Lit Candle - CHECK
Sex Toys - CHECK
Lube - Check
Contraceptives - Oops

So you felt extra adventurous... You thought tonight was going to be monumental. You had everything needed for an excursion he wasn't quite prepared for........ Accept you were under the influence of sex and forgot contraceptives..... Now you're sending him to the store to get an E.P.T...... At first you feel a little throw up and maybe even diarrhea. Sometimes being under the influence of sex sends you surprises long after the influence has worn off.

Once in a while being under the influence of sex will send you into orgasms unmeasurable. And then again.... sometimes it will leave you with less than happy experiences.....

Thoughtfully,
Your Personal Madam
xoxoxoxox