Apparently today is the day to give thanks and introduce you to who I really and what really makes me tick. Well outside of shoes and rhinestones. Do you ever wonder..... How the fuck are the two of us assholes best friends???? What road did we travel that the two of us, who at first glance don't have anything in common, became BEST FUCKING FRIENDS???? Well I got me a couple of those.
Like for instance. Candace. She is my EXACT opposite. She calls us Ying and Yang. Beautiful black chick with the soul of a white woman. And then my transparrent ass with the soul of a black man. She is pretty reserved, polite, sweet, justifiably the girl that everyone hates because at first glance you think the bitch has it all and is absolutely perfect.... Yeah that's her, how she wound up with me as her best friend, I don't even have the answer for you. She's a P.E.T.A. lover environmentalist type.... Free spirited and unshakable, because she feels like everyone is entitled to their own opions... Where I feel everyone is entitled to my opion.... however, we have found common ground to form a friendship that pretty much is perfectly us.
Then there is Dezi..... really not so opposite at all. Thelma and Louise 100% of the time. You know normal people would encourage their friend to think shit through.... Do the right thing.... BLAH BLAH BLAH nope not us... she wants to rob a bank, I'm buying the ski masks. Thankfully I found her..... I was tired of being down as hell for myself all the time... now I can be down for her and she can be down for me : ) We have this understanding..... NEVER ASK QUESTIONS. Just roll with the flow..... Let me tell you... This friendship is filled with excitement.... I'd like to blog about situations that we have been in but I'd feel like the F.B.I would be waking me up in the morning with a 101 questions and I have to work....
Brandon... AKA B Boy. He really gets my sense of humor. I mean I remember one time we were at his Mom's house and my oldest son wanted to go in the pool which was fine, so he got his swim suit on, slowly climbed down the ladder until he got about 1/2 and then jumped in, he then came popping out of the water gasping for air and flailing around without rhyme or reason, Brandon's sister looks at me like she is going to shit her pants, his mom looks like WTF Bitch jump in and save him... Meanwhile I am laughing so hard that I nearly lose piss and I call out to him "Stand up".... So he does and then says "Oh" with a look of absolute embarassment. I mean most people would have shook their head or been like wtf... Nope not B... He laughed because I found it hysterical but he understood why I thought it was so funny.... Or the other night, we were talking on the telle. ((we don't hold back we talk about everything)) and he just had his second child, my goddaughter, and we were talking about him bangin his wife and he said "oh no, we haven't had sex" so I'm all "WTF" and he says "She goes to get the IUD next week and after that It's on" --- I feel like I should let you know now, this mother fucker got her pregnant.... she had their first daughter and literally WEEKS NOT MONTHS after their first born.... she is pregnant with my god baby... technically she has been pregnant 2 yrs---- Back to the IUD Convo - "Well yeah you guys will have sex as long as her libido doesn't fall" he says "oh well that's not going to happen" I say... "well even if it does just wait til she is sleeping and sneak it in.... the hole will still be good if she is sleeping" I don't think I laughed so hard at myself in my entire life. Just the same he could have been like whoa whoa whoa whoa bitch, that's my wife's vagina we are talking about... no... he laughed, thankfully she is AWESOME and sort of a dirty lil bitch like me...
Then there is Chris..................... Rico Suave- the ladies man- You'd think I would hate "that guy" but I don't. After he allows you in.... you get to see that everyone needs the pretty boy as a friend to remind you that they aren't just a beautiful face. After Tin Man got his heart, if he would have met Chris he would have went into cardiovascular failure. Chris' heart is HUGE. I mean I know I have a lil place in there and I still secretly hate him for being so loving!
Best Friends don'e always mean that you have to be one in the same.... It just means that you are a couple of morons with shit in common
Enjoying my
Best Friends
Your Personal Madam
xoxoxoxoxoxoxo
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