The Chicken That Ruined My High

I'm sure that some of you enjoy the occassional drag of a "special" stoggie..... As I used to when I was younger. Quite frankly I would like to say that some of the best life's material happens to us when there has or had been the use of marijuana.

One of my most memorable experiences began with a simple and relatively harmless phone call inviting me to a party in Flint. The playoffs were on t.v. and a gentleman that I had been secretly admiring had called to invite me to the party. The party took place at, I think it was a motel 6, or something like that. It was a one level motel. There were 3 rooms that were rented and all the rooms had open doors upon my arrival. The parking lot was packed, as I should have expected. The gentleman suitor met me in the parking lot and walked me in..... I should have brought a gal pal, because I didn't know a single person and I was the only white person that happened upon the festivities, which instantaniously brought upon animocity from the ladies of the party... "who invited the white girl" .... "who the fuck does she think she is" me being me... didn't give a fuck....

The rooms were FILLED with people. There were blunts upon blunts being passed around, thankfully the guys at this party weren't as stuffy as the ladies, and very kindly shared their kush. About an hour and a half into the event (lack of a better word) I decided that it was probably a good idea to take my high ass home. Mind you.... THREE ROOMS...... BLUNTS UPON BLUNTS being passed around and me not declining an offer for a hit not one single time.....

I gathered what I had left of my thoughts, rummaged through my purse to find the keys to my mother's truck (god she is going to be pissed) got in, gave myself 10-15 to prepare myself for my high apple pie adventure home.

Travelling along I-75, at the posted speed because I had cruise control or I probably would have been Speedy Gonzales one minute and slow waaaaaaaaaaaaay down the next (you know how you drive when you are stoned) It's late at night, so thankfully I am the ONLY one on the highway or it would have been bad news bears. I mean I was so high I wasn't sure if I was travelling the right way home.... The lines in the road looked to have risen up and were 4 ft tall..... I felt so heavy that I felt like I was pushing the car 70 miles an hour. It's a god send that no one was hurt...... Travelling along with all four windows down, you know it was cold out and it will help to keep you awake during the drive LOL music as high as it can possibly go.....

AND OUT OF FUCKING NO WHERE........ There it was..... THE BIGGEST FUCKING RED CHICKEN I HAD EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right there in the middle of the highway.... Not moving. No that bastard was determined to ruin my night. It was so large that it took up all 3 lanes of the highway. So what did I do, you're wondering I'm sure. I stopped. I stopped right there in the middle of the highway. Now we have to remember I was high. So what was my first concern? How was I going to get around this mother fucker.... i was never going to get home because it was never going to move! FUCK MY LIFE. Then BAM, stroke of genius.... I slowly drove around it.... Driving away I took a sigh of relief. Like PHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW that was a close call. I wonder what the other cars are going to do when they happen upon it.

Needless to say I made it home, slept 16 hours and vowed never to tell a soul because once I had sobered up realized that I was a fuckin idiot.... well cats out of the bag.... or in this case the chicken...... 

That fuckin Chicken RUINED My High

Praying to never have another chicken stand off,

Your Personal Madam
xoxo