Girls Take Shits Too

Yup, I'm going there. Guys typically don't want to talk about it and girls typically will deny it. But GIRLS TAKE SHITS TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean let's get real here for a minute. You and your girl go out to eat at a Chinese restraunt and you have to run to the bathroom right after your wonton soup and you don't think she is going to have bubble guts too? Just because she doesn't do it when you are home, or fart in front of you doesn't mean that she doesn't get her stank on too.

I just had this conversation today. I am a regular gal. I gotta take a shit everyday. If not, I will begin to panic and think that there is something wrong. I didn't go for 2 days and began to think that I was going to have to take myself to the hospital because the plumbing was going to get backed up.... But then about 6:45 victory was mine. I gave birth to a 5 lb 4 oz toilet baby.... Some of the best work I have ever produced in the office.

There isn't anything wrong with it and I don't quite understand why it's so hush hush. Woman don't just have assholes for guys to try to stick shit in..... They aren't there as decorative design. Just like men, it's there for performance.

Ladies, let's be honest with the world and ourselves here.... Sometimes you release shits of severity that you want to take a picture of and post on facebook just to say "BOOYA, I did that, what's up bro?!"

It's okay to come to terms with the fact that we dump.... doo doo.... shit.... blow it up... however you wanna label it. We do it. Just because men know we are perfect doesn't mean that we were born with the ability to expell what our bodies have taken in with out shitting.

The next time ladies, you decide to drop a log upon the porceline tidle wave, tell your man something super unsexy. Like "I have to go give birth to a toilet baby" or "Don't wait to start the movie for me babe, I gotta go drop the kids off at the pool and it's gonna be a while". Then take a picture of their face!!!!!!!!


Keeping the sewer company in service,

Your Personal Madam
xoxoxoxox